Tag Archives: everything else

I don’t care how bad a day is- coming home to find Herriot is Jess’s Selection of Featured Yarns in Ravelry pretty much turns any day into Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.

I can’t begin to thank Jess, Casey, Mary-Heather and Sarah enough. I was very lucky to have begun my farm and my business at about the same time that Jess and Casey started Ravelry and I can tell you to a dead certainty that I wouldn’t still be in business if it weren’t for the amazing playground/marketplace/community that those two built.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

We are celebrating the shipping of the 2012 Cormo CSA Shares with very important announcement! Due to OVERWHELMING DEMAND, we are bringing back Half Shares in our  crazy popular Yarn and Fiber CSAs.

I have received dozens and dozens of emails from former CSA shareholders asking us to bring back the half share option and I’m finally caving. We are offering Half Share in our Colored Flock CSA for the first time ever, as well as bringing back the Half Share for our All Cormo CSA.

For general information about the Juniper Moon Yarn and Fiber CSAs, click here.

In addition to half shares, we are bringing back the Juniper Moon “Year at the Farm” Sock Club. Last year’s Sock Club was a big hit! We’re adding only four spots this year, to keep things manageable, so there are only 20 spaces available total.

And, while they last, the first 40 orders we received for CSA Shares or Sock Club memberships will receive a free 2013 Juniper Moon Farm Calendar! (I may have, um, over-ordered calendars this year.)

Instead of writing a post today, I am direct sending you directly to Wovember.com, because what Felicity Ford and Kate Davies are doing is important. Wovember is an annual, month-long celebration of sheep, and wool and the people who use and wear it. So brilliant. So inspiring. So get over there!

My friend Karen reminded me that today is National Hug a Sheep Day. We try to do our part around here.

Emily modeling the Sluggy Bonnet with a lamby accessory

Erin, the Keyhole scarf and Scarlett

Me & Big Ernie, back before he was so big.

Freshly born Alabama

Erin and Adelaide. [Okay technically, that's a goat.]

Me with Camilia and Gonzo. [Again, goats, but you get the point.]

Before I start, I just want to reassure those of you who have been reading the blog for a while that this isn’t going to turn into a whiney, ranty, feel-sorry-for-me-because-I’m-sick blog, I promise. Really, that’s the whole point of today’s post.

I have been very, very sick for the past few months. Some days aren’t so bad and I nearly feel like my old self again. My old self with less energy, but near enough. Some days I am in so much pain that it’s very difficult to do much more than feed the animals and myself. I never know what kind of day it’s going to be until I get out of bed in the morning and try to walk to my closet to get dressed. On bad days, I move a lot slower.

To quote my doctor (who also suffers from an auto-immune disease) it is a pain that is humbling and weighty. It wears on me. In fact, I think I truly understand the word “weary” for the first time in my life.

Several of my friends have commented recently that they didn’t realize how much pain I was in because I was still taking care of the farm, running my business, launching a magazine, remembering birthdays, etc.  There are a couple of reasons for that. First of all, most of the time I am here alone, and the animals have to eat no matter how I feel. This business isn’t going to run itself. But there is a more important reason.

I don’t identify as a sick person. I don’t see myself as someone who complains about how much pain she’s in. I think of myself as someone who can figure out how to do anything. An ass-kicker. An unstoppable force. It took me years and years (and plenty of therapy) to be able to recognize my accomplishments and feel good about them, and damn it! I am not going to give that self-image up without a fight.

Being sick is the worst because it can very easily rob you of your identity and your plans for the future.

I never had any plans for my life beyond running Juniper Moon Farm. Whatever was in my future, it was going to have to include sheep and goats and dogs and a couple of cows. I pictured myself out feeding animals in my 70s, exactly like now but with shoulder-length gray hair. (Isn’t it funny how when you picture the future, it’s exactly like now, only you’re older?)

Now that future may have to change out of necessity and it pisses me off.

My doctors are homing in on the cause of my latest symptoms. In a few days we will have a more definitive set of answers, answers that may lead to a solution for this round of auto-immune roulette. I am going to be taking some serious medicine to systemically control the auto-immune issues.

I’m not giving up. That’s not who I am. But- oh Lord- I am weary.

/end whiney rant

I have to say that I could not have made it through the past few weeks without the help of my mom, my sister and my friends. They have pitched in in ways that would test the bounds of any friendship. I am very, very lucky to have such a kind and loving support system and I know that everyone isn’t so lucky.

CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF NEARLY EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED:

Wow, I really need to pee…I’ll just finish this page first…this book is really un-put-downable. They should put a little sticker on the cover of each copy that says, “So good, you’ll nearly wet the bed!”… Or maybe that wouldn’t be a selling point?…Really, really have to pee but there are only three pages till the end of this chapter. I can wait…

WHOA! When did I start another chapter? This book is so good that I just completely forgot how badly I need to pee and got half way through another chapter… Now THAT should be on the cover sticker! “So good, you’ll forget how badly you have to pee until you’re well into the next chapter!” I fail to see how anyone could find that uncompelling. Is uncompelling even a word?

[PUTS DOWN BOOK LONG ENOUGH TO GOOGLE UNCOMPELLING.]

Huh. Uncompelling is a word. “Too extraordinary or improbable to believe”.  Interesting. It sounds so made up and looks weird in writing…I’ll have to start using it conversation. then when someone corrects me, I’ll be all, “Actually it IS a word, Jackass.” That will be rewarding.

[PICKS UP BOOK AGAIN.] Oh my dear Lord I have to pee! Two pages left in this chapter then it’s pee time, for reals.

 Does anyone else has this problem? Am I the only weirdo who hates putting down a book (or pausing a movie or taking a break from work)to pee? I hate it the same way I hate putting gas in my car…

No blog post today because I am at war with pantry moths. (Apparently this is some kind of epidemic- pantry moths are infesting the flour and other staples of people from here to Texas. Anecdotal evidence from members of my family suggest that they are sneaking in to homes in dog food and/or pine nuts, depending on which camp you chose to believe.)

Either way, getting rid of them is a total pain in the ass that I did not need today.  Hope your day is more productive and less filled with throwing away perfectly good- albeit mothy- food.

I celebrated by taking part of today off and getting out my little collection of hand-blow glass pumpkins. I love they way they look in the sunlight! How did you mark the change of season?

I should be home right now, enjoying a lovely, cool Sunday morning in the pastures with my sheep and my dogs. Instead I am in Texas awaiting a medical release to get on an airplane.

I’ll start at the beginning. A few years ago, I became very, very ill while attending the TNNA trade show in Columbus, Ohio. It was a terrifying experience, being in staggering pain and very far from home.  I came home early, had about a trillion medical tests and was eventually diagnosed with something called HLA-B27. (Technically HLA-B27 is the name of the genetic marker that indicates a set of diseases, but most doctors use it to refer to the condition itself.)

Basically, I have an auto-immune disease in which my immune system has determined that my eyes are not part of me, which must mean they are an invader. Since the immune system’s whole raison d’etre is to destroy invaders, it gets to work on destroying my eyes. It is incredibly painful, and I apparently have a particularly virulent immune system because my case has been called the “worst we’ve ever seen” by doctors at the most prestigious eye clinic in the world (I WIN!).

With systemic drug, drops and eye injections, my team of AMAZING doctors have been able to save my eyes, quiet my immune system and send my HLA-B27 into remission several times. And, having been through this half a dozen times in two years, I am well aware of the symptoms and prepared with all the meds on hand to fight it until I can get in to see the doctor.

In addition to the eye team, I see a rheumatologist who keeps an eye on my liver function, gives me regular x-rays to make sure I don’t develop Ankylosing spondylitis, and is always on the lookout for other auto-immune diseases. Because these horrible things tend to travel in packs. Because that’s fair.

Well, the other shoe has, at last, dropped. I have developed a whole new set of symptoms and my doctors are ordering dozens of tests on what seems like gallons of my blood. All the big name-brand diseases have been ruled out; my primary care says that I will most like be diagnose with another series of letters and numbers, what she refers to as “parentheticals”. (Side note: I know it’s absurd to care about such things, but it really cheeses me off that my disease doesn’t even get a name. You can’t ever just tell someone (who doesn’t have a medical degree) that you’re HLA-B27 positive without giving them a half hour long explanation.)

Lately, my life has felt like I’m guesting starring on an episode of House. You know, as the patient with the spectacularly weird and hard-to-diagnose disease.

The thing about having an auto-immune diseases is that it feels like such a betrayal. A part of my body is trying to destroy another part of my body. I am doing all these terrible things to myself and I can’t stop. It’s incredibly frustrating.

So why am I writing about it now? Good question. Very good question. I’m not entirely sure myself. Several people have advised against this post but I do feel compelled to keep you all in the loop. You’ve always been incredibly supportive, for one thing. But I also wanted to let you know that I may not be blogging quite as much as I have in the past. I’m still on top of everything but it’s taking me a bit longer to get things done; I definitely have good days and bad days.

Oh, but back to the reason I’m stuck in Texas. When I got up to go to the airport early Saturday morning, I was experiencing a fair amount of pain in my left eye. When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I found this. [WARNING: this picture is GRUESOME! I'm linking to it instead of posting so that those of you weak stomaches won't be exposed to it accidentally. On the other hand, for those of you who are always curious about gross stuff (as I am), Merry Christmas!]

It’s actually not as bad as it looks. It’s a subconjunctival hemorrhage, and according to my mom’s ophthalmologist, it’s the worst she’s ever seen. (WIN! I am so good at eye problems!) Long, long, long story short, there was a lot of concern because it wasn’t clotting, and because the original eye problem (HLA-B27 associated Uveitis) is back, and because of all the new and exciting problems associated with the new auto-immune disease to be named later.

I am back to wearing an eye patch and I think I will be released to fly Monday morning after meeting with an eye surgeon. Everything at the farm is in super-capable hands until then but I miss my dogs and my flock intensely and can’t wait to get home.

As I said earlier, my blogging may be a bit sporadic in the coming weeks. It probably would have anyway, with the first issue of the magazine wrapping up, shipping all the t-shirts and posters and so many other things to catch up on. But I will let you know if there are any important developments.

P.S. Tomorrow I’ll be posting the details of the Magazine Launch Party/Fall Shearing Celebration!